A little bit of background on Tami the student: I was a straight A over achiever my whole school career up through high school. I was called a goody-two-shoes, little miss 4.0, teachers pet (you name it) and often times tutored other classmates. I was one of those kids who got good grades because it made me feel good and to be quite honest, it wasn't hard for me (I know, you can hate me, but I am just being honest).
Growing up my desire for what I wanted to be when I grew up changed. In kindergarten I wanted to be a mommy , by third grade I wanted to be a lawyer and attend Harvard law school (before Reese Witherspoon made it cool), by seventh grade I realized I might have to defend people I knew were guilty and quickly derailed the train to law school. By my freshman year I was receiving information from top name schools and decided that I would be a nurse and attend NYU, and that was my plan until 9/11, when fear took over my desire to be that far from home. My junior year I found myself testing into an ROP program for beauty school, I was accepted and attended 2 weeks of Beauty School before dropping out. (Go ahead, sing the song, I have heard it so many times before.)
By the fall of my senior year I hadn't decided what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go to college. Financially I knew that college at a 4 year university was not really an option. My parents insisted that I apply to the closest state 4 year college, about 30 minutes from my home. On the last day that the applications were due my parents asked if I had submitted my application and I informed them that I was not going to college. Here "little miss 4.0" had decided to throw it all away and really had no long term plan. You see, I knew that my parents couldn't afford the local 4 year college and financial aid wouldn't pan out either. I knew that I would get accepted and the $$$ wouldn't work out. And, just as I suspected, that is exactly what happened. I got accepted, got my hopes up and ended up not being able to go.
I had accumulated a nice amount of scholarship money and attended the junior college that fall, even though I really didn't want to. Thank you to my parents for pushing me (every semester) or I may not have gone. I spent the first year doing general ed and then decided I wanted to do accounting. So, being fed up with school and just wanting to finish I buckled down taking over 20 units my last 2 semesters and working 30 hours a week. I finished with my Associates of Science degree in Accounting. During my last semester I met my wonderful husband and we started dating.
So with my AS in hand I stepped out into the workforce and started working at a CPA firm as a bookkeeper, within a year I switched to a bigger firm that I am still with more than 5 years later. 2 years after finishing my AS I decided to go back and finish my Bachelors. My employer was more than supportive and was helping me on my journey. My first semester back and we got the wonderful surprise that we were going to have a baby. Needless to say, priorities changed, I finished that semester and haven't stepped foot back on campus since.
Now I have to tell you that I never in my life thought that I wouldn't finish, as a matter of fact, I bet many people from high school and teachers would be surprised to learn that I don't have my Bachelor's. But more than anything, I am surprised, and at times, disappointed. I know that I deserve it and that I can do it but I have my reservations about it. Now in this tough economy I seemed to have done something right because I have friends with their BA still looking for work and I have been fortunate enough and blessed to have a wonderful job that allows me to help provide for my family.
So, you ask, why don't I just go back and finish? Well, working in a CPA firm I spend about 5 months out of the year with some pretty crazy and insane hours at the office, which means that there isn't a ton of family time from Jan-mid May. So, I think I am dealing with mommy guilt about taking more time away from my family. I already am squeezing in working out time with the girls and with (hopefully) adding another baby in the next year it just doesn't seem feasible. I only have 20 classes left and I keep telling myself just start now and you will be done before you know it. But once I am done with my BA, you see, there is this terribly grueling 4 part exam to become a CPA that will loom over my head. I want to finish because I know that I should. It will open opportunities up at work, it will earn a level of respect, I will be able to provide better for my family and so much more. Plus, I feel like I can't tell my kids to go to college and finish if I didn't. (On a side note: a great friend said yes I can, she used the reference of having premarital sex, just because we did doesn't mean that we will tell our kids we think it is okay for them too, I thought that was a great point.)
There are so many questions and possibilities looming. With that said, I have decided to take the first step and go talk to a counselor (no commitment at that point), see where I stand, see what I need to do and maybe, just maybe, take one online class in the spring just to get my feet wet. Then, I will only have 19 left...
Thanks for stopping by and reading (sorry for the long post) ~Tami
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