Tami Who?

Who am I?  What do I like to do?

I recently had this epiphany, I don't know who Tami is!  You see, I am often times referred to Andrew's Mommy (which I love) or Jason's Wife (which I also love) but I do not truly know who Tami is.  I often feel like I am just going about playing all of these roles, but along the way am I losing myself, my true identity, my hopes and dreams?

Let's start with my role as Andrew's Mommy (probably my favorite).  I am the kisses that makes things better, the bedtime story teller, the sock puppet maker, the cookie baker, the 5:15 face who does the pickup from daycare, and the person who makes his Papa appear on the "puter" or phone.  I love this role, but that isn't all that I am.

Then there is Jason's Wife, which I enjoy (let's be honest) about 75% of the time.  While I love the smell of folding his clean laundry, the dirty socks I could do without.  And I love making dinner for my wonderful husband, but a helping hand with dishes is always much appreciated.  And while I love cleaning and trying out the latest Lysol product, it can get old really quick when the tot follows in a path of destruction.  I love being the one who knows when he is out shaving cream, or what he would order from Taco Bell.  And I love surprising him with a freshly ironed work shirt when he thinks they are still dirty in the hamper.  But, this too isn't all that I am.

Then there is Tami the employee.  I would like to think that in this role I am dependable, hard working, trustworthy, respectable and respectful and appreciated.  In my job there are (really) long hours, offset by 1/2 day Fridays in the summer, and lots of responsibility and stress followed by much needed vacations.  I enjoy my job, my coworkers and my clients, but isn't all that I am.

Recently I made a comment to my sweet husband about wanting roller blades so as a surprise he went out and bought them for me.  He said he wanted me to have something for me that I enjoy as much as he enjoys his video games.  Such a sweet thought, if I hadn't felt nerdy and they had fit better I might not have returned them, but it was one of those things that sounded better in my head.  But, that isn't the point.  He brought up a good point, what things do I enjoy?  I started to think about his question and at first I couldn't think of anything.  I kept thinking, "what do I like to do in my down time?" Which led to, "What down time?"  You see all of the roles above make up Tami, who I am.  At times I wish I could be a full time stay at home mommy and wife, and other times, Monday can't come fast enough.  On top of being Andrew's Mommy, Jason's Wife and Tami the bookkeeper, there is just Tami.

Tami loves to garden, plant pretty flowers, pick fresh tomatoes from her garden, organize cupboards, play in her pretty pink kitchen and make yumminess, shop for others, workout with the girls (a group of mommies actually), go jogging (by myself, at my pace and when I want to), talk to her brother on the phone, IMing with her Dad, browse cool deco for my home, redecorate, plan and budget (I know, crazy) and dream about the future. 

But, most of all, I love being Andrew's Mommy and Jason's Wife!

I know I should go back to school, BUT...

A little bit of background on Tami the student: I was a straight A over achiever my whole school career up through high school.  I was called a goody-two-shoes, little miss 4.0, teachers pet (you name it) and often times tutored other classmates.  I was one of those kids who got good grades because it made me feel good and to be quite honest, it wasn't hard for me (I know, you can hate me, but I am just being honest).  

Growing up my desire for what I wanted to be when I grew up changed.  In kindergarten I wanted to be a mommy , by third grade I wanted to be a lawyer and attend Harvard law school (before Reese Witherspoon made it cool), by seventh grade I realized I might have to defend people I knew were guilty and quickly derailed the train to law school.  By my freshman year I was receiving information from top name schools and decided that I would be a nurse and attend NYU, and that was my plan until 9/11, when fear took over my desire to be that far from home.  My junior year I found myself testing into an ROP program for beauty school, I was accepted and attended 2 weeks of Beauty School before dropping out.  (Go ahead, sing the song, I have heard it so many times before.) 

By the fall of my senior year I hadn't decided what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go to college.  Financially I knew that college at a 4 year university was not really an option.  My parents insisted that I apply to the closest state 4 year college, about 30 minutes from my home.  On the last day that the applications were due my parents asked if I had submitted my application and I informed them that I was not going to college.  Here "little miss 4.0" had decided to throw it all away and really had no long term plan.  You see, I knew that my parents couldn't afford the local 4 year college and financial aid wouldn't pan out either.  I knew that I would get accepted and the $$$ wouldn't work out.  And, just as I suspected, that is exactly what happened.  I got accepted, got my hopes up and ended up not being able to go. 

I had accumulated a nice amount of scholarship money and attended the junior college that fall, even though I really didn't want to. Thank you to my parents for pushing me (every semester) or I may not have gone.  I spent the first year doing general ed and then decided I wanted to do accounting.  So, being fed up with school and just wanting to finish I buckled down taking over 20 units my last 2 semesters and working 30 hours a week.  I finished with my Associates of Science degree in Accounting.  During my last semester I met my wonderful husband and we started dating.  

So with my AS in hand I stepped out into the workforce and started working at a CPA firm as a bookkeeper, within a year I switched to a bigger firm that I am still with more than 5 years later.  2 years after finishing my AS I decided to go back and finish my Bachelors.  My employer was more than supportive and was helping me on my journey.  My first semester back and we got the wonderful surprise that we were going to have a baby.  Needless to say, priorities changed, I finished that semester and haven't stepped foot back on campus since.

Now I have to tell you that I never in my life thought that I wouldn't finish, as a matter of fact, I bet many people from high school and teachers would be surprised to learn that I don't have my Bachelor's.  But more than anything, I am surprised, and at times, disappointed.  I know that I deserve it and that I can do it but I have my reservations about it.  Now in this tough economy I seemed to have done something right because I have friends with their BA still looking for work and I have been fortunate enough and blessed to have a wonderful job that allows me to help provide for my family.

So, you ask, why don't I just go back and finish?  Well, working in a CPA firm I spend about 5 months out of the year with some pretty crazy and insane hours at the office, which means that there isn't a ton of family time from Jan-mid May.  So, I think I am dealing with mommy guilt about taking more time away from my family.  I already am squeezing in working out time with the girls and with (hopefully) adding another baby in the next year it just doesn't seem feasible.  I only have 20 classes left and I keep telling myself just start now and you will be done before you know it.  But once I am done with my BA, you see, there is this terribly grueling 4 part exam to become a CPA that will loom over my head.  I want to finish because I know that I should.  It will open opportunities up at work, it will earn a level of respect, I will be able to provide better for my family and so much more.  Plus, I feel like I can't tell my kids to go to college and finish if I didn't.  (On a side note: a great friend said yes I can, she used the reference of having premarital sex, just because we did doesn't mean that we will tell our kids we think it is okay for them too, I thought that was a great point.)  

There are so many questions and possibilities looming. With that said, I have decided to take the first step and go talk to a counselor (no commitment at that point), see where I stand, see what I need to do and maybe, just maybe, take one online class in the spring just to get my feet wet.  Then, I will only have 19 left...

Thanks for stopping by and reading (sorry for the long post) ~Tami

It's a party...Cars Style

Last weekend our sweet little boy turned 3!!  Since he has a huge love for McQueen and Mater we decided to do a Disney Cars themed party and I pulled out all of the stops.  After hours searching online, sewing, crafting, painting and putting together here is the final product! 

 The AWESOME invites

(from printmyparty.com)

 The walk way up to the front door

A close up of the sign that I made

The AMAZING birthday cake

(one of my best girlfriends owns a bakery)

The "fueling" station (with actual pump)

The Cars themed snacks

Strawberries filled with no bake cheesecake and topped with crushed oreos

Cantaloupe

Oreos with the tops removed and circles in the middle

Stickers on the bottom of kisses make for a cute personal touch and yummy candy dish!

 The character themed bean bags I made for the tire toss

We also played McQueen's Pit Stop Tire Change, just like pin the tail on the donkey only using a McQueen poster and tires.  And, for the little ones we played which cone is McQueen under.

The treat bags for our little party goers

The birthday boy enjoying a few of his gifts!!

Thank you to all of our family and friends who made Andrew's party a success, we can't believe that he is already 3!!

 

 

Welcome to the wonderful world of ... ME!

So, in a world filled with technology and instant gratification I have been known to go against what is "cool". Let's face it, in high school I was on the science olympiad team, CSF and president of the Renaissance club.  And my one year of being on the girls basket ball team was by default, not enough people tried out so I made the team.  I don't have a cell phone or a fancy cable package and would much rather take a family bike ride than instant stream a movie on netflix.  I find myself asking why am I blogging then?  I have decided that this is an awesome way to capture my life and allow others who may be far away from me or just find me interesting (doubtful), to see what I have been up to.

A little bit about me: I am a wife and a mommy first and foremost, I wish I could do it full time.  I spend my 40 hours a week (sometimes more) being a supercharged bookkeeper (the kind with a cape) at a local CPA firm.  I am always trying to improve myself and have some really quirky things about me that only a few people know.  Such as that I still sleep with a teddy bear every night and, at the age or 25, still believe that "shadow boogies" could come out of my closet or bathroom so those doors must be closed at night. I don't like many condiments and mustard, even the smell, will turn my stomach.  Even though I am a legal adult, a mom, a wife and a homeowner, at times I still don't feel like an adult.  I am a yo-yo dieter and could use a self esteem boost at times.  I over analyze everything and an anal budget-er.  I am not the world's best housekeeper (my mom can vouch for that one) and I never sort my clothes before washing them (sorry mom).  Oh, and I love pink!

I see my life like a series of short stories.  Some of them are really long, others just a few pages, some I like to go back and read and others I would prefer if they were never written.  My blog posts to come will be much shorter and include cute pictures of this adorable little boy Andrew, parties that I plan, projects around my house and other fun things about my life.

Thanks for stopping by...Tami